I wasn’t born soon enough to be a cowboy on the West’s old open range. But for the last 10 years, I’ve been lucky enough to help gather a herd of up to 500 bison every fall on 30 square miles of Montana prairie. I live on the reservation, though I’m not a Native American, […]
Essays
Posted inWotr
Could it be Apocalypto for the Southwest?
Thanks to Hollywood movies showing the first North Americans as wandering hunters grunting to each other, Westerners may perhaps be forgiven for failing to appreciate the urban civilizations that arose in the New World long before Europeans arrived. Now, moviegoers have a chance to correct this oversight by seeing “Apocalypto,” Mel Gibson’s gruesome depiction of […]
Posted inWotr
Dick Cheney was right
President Bush’s idea that voluntary corporate efforts can stop climate change is wrong, and it’s wrong because Dick Cheney was right. That paradox, along with a new Congress and many progressive Western governors, may outline a path to a real climate policy in 2007. The vice President famously called most conservation measures “a personal virtue” […]
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Hold on: I’m on my cell
In the last year I’ve done something that deeply offends some of my small-town neighbors: I’ve acquired a cell phone. Back when I was among the land-lined gentry, I used to think a cell phone was a reflection of lifestyle. People with mobile lifestyles — you commute to work, step out to meetings, travel to […]
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Let’s not allow winter’s quiet to be shattered everywhere
As an outdoor educator, I receive questions about cross-country skiing every winter. Lately, one common question is: “Where do I go to get away from snowmobiles?” Unfortunately, the fact is that there are fewer and fewer places on the West’s national forests where we can enjoy the natural peace and quiet of winter. We are […]
Posted inDecember 25, 2006: Confessions of a Methane Floozy
Shear Pleasure
As the eighth red-headed slut slid down my throat, I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. I was merely trying to keep up with my new friends, a group of traveling sheepshearers from New Zealand. But they kept buying round after round at the Sawmill Saloon in Darby, Mont. “Shearing’s a hobby,” […]
Posted inDecember 25, 2006: Confessions of a Methane Floozy
I fell into a burning ring of fire
Some people seek gentle hands to soothe knots from sore muscles. Others get a facial or a pedicure. Still others hold hands and hum around a vortex. In today’s world of indulgence-for-hire and guided leisure, you can practice yoga, Pilates, Nia. Screw that, I say. Play with fire. There’s something restorative about lighting a glowing […]
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A field guide to the instant rural guy
Anyone who has moved to the mountains recently has learned of the existence of a distinct subspecies of human beings known familiarly as “flatlanders.” The first thing that needs to be understood about this group is that it is almost never found at sea level. Only when the flatlander takes residence at a higher altitude […]
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One oil change ago
I’m not really sure how I met Jim. Like everything else in life, it was probably through a series of bad choices, weak will and cosmic roulette. I probably should have said “no.” I probably should have moved on. I probably should have done a lot of things differently, but that’s how you end up […]
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Christmas fuels the ‘bough industry’ in Washington
When my parents were first married, my father wanted to name their newly created logging company “Moonscape Logging.” Thankfully, my mother nixed that idea, although it was an apt description of the clear-cutting that happened on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula in the ’70s and ’80s. Once logs were taken out of the forest, whatever remained got […]
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No surprises, and no solutions, from raids aimed at illegal immigrants
On the morning of Dec. 12, immigration and other federal officials launched a simultaneous raid — the biggest ever of its kind — at Swift & Co. meatpacking plants across six different states. At the plant in Greeley, Colo., about an hour’s drive north of Denver, agents surrounded the windowless, monolithic facility, then entered, carrying […]
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The best job in the world
I had the best job in the world this December. I made 50 people laugh and then start to cry. Some looked at me as if I were crazy, while others hugged me tight. I was a “Mystery Shopper” in Montrose, population 13,000, in western Colorado, who “caught” people shopping in local stores and gave […]
Posted inDecember 11, 2006: Old but Faithful
Dina’s Place
Dina takes me down to the river, to a place behind her house on the reservation. “I want to show you my secret spot,” she says. “C’mon.” The Big Sioux River smells like piss some days, or a wasting body. In my second summer working for the tribe, I have come to know the river’s […]
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A public-lands experiment needs to re-engage the public
Not long ago, a fat patch of private land lay isolated within the Jemez Mountains, surrounded mostly by Forest Service land. Though off-limits, many New Mexicans knew that this place, the Baca Ranch, supported an enormous elk herd and contained both geological and archaeological wonders. Today, that 89,000-acre private ranch is better known as a […]
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Chickens are roosting on private property in Oregon
Oregon’s Ballot infamous Measure 37 created an old-fashioned land rush as property owners, developers and opportunists raced to file claims for compensation before the recent deadline. An estimated 3,600 claims were filed with the possibility that the last-minute rush added 1,000 more. The total cost of the claims may top $7 billion, though no one […]
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Democrats are still an endangered species in the West
Since last month’s midterm elections, Democrats have fallen all over themselves trumpeting their party’s gains in the Mountain West as the harbinger of a new political landscape. Many have suggested that the GOP now amounts to little more than a regional party with scant appeal outside the South. But a reality check is in order […]
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Running wild in Yellowstone National Park
In Yellowstone, it’s never unusual for a car to halt smack in the middle of the road. Nor it is unusual for a car’s driver to stand in the road, gawking at wildlife. It is unusual for a driver to be shouting — at me. I was riding my bike on Yellowstone’s northeast entrance road, […]
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Of salvage logging and salvation
Salvage is a word that is much in the air these days, not just in the woods, but also in the lecture halls of universities and in the marble corridors of Washington, D.C. It is a word of power, a soothing word implying many virtues: prudence and profit, rescue and redemption, both exploitation and, somehow, […]
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Westerners sure love their mountain monikers
The first thing I noticed when I was plucked from a sound sleep by aliens and we started flying around was that all the Western towns and cities were conveniently labeled. Lifting off from Logan, Utah, I could clearly see the big mountainside “L” get smaller as we zoomed skyward. Heading west, it only took […]
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Scooter blues: When you’re environmentally correct and get no respect
I wish I knew why Harley riders stare straight through me when I’m coming down the street on my scooter from the opposite direction. Sadly, I’m beginning to suspect American motorcyclists of subscribing to a caste system in which Harley Davidsons occupy the top tier, followed by the Euro-touro blends, the bullet bikes, dirt bikes, […]