Betsy Marston

THE WEST It takes a bold person to tinker with Smokey Bear, the U.S. Forest Service icon who proclaims, “Only YOU can prevent forest fires.” Messing with the paunchy blue-jeaned bear and his strong message might just earn you a cease and desist letter, plus a threat of jail time and fines. That happened to […]

MONTANA AND COLORADO As the Missoulian puts it, “There’s rotten cellphone service, there’s nonexistent cellphone service, and then there’s what’s happening just a few miles east of Ovando.” Which is exactly nothing, because a 195-foot-tall cell phone tower near this tiny western Montana town has never connected a call to anybody. Clearview, a Florida-based company, […]

MONTANA A pygmy goat walks into a bar on a Sunday afternoon — and no, this isn’t the setup to one of those jokes; this really happened in Butte, Mont. The little goat seemed to enjoy the outing until a public-health-conscious patron called the police, who came and took the animal to a shelter. As […]

UTAH If you want to watch the latest death-defying sport in the red-rock outback of southeastern Utah, check out “World’s largest rope swing” on YouTube, which has racked up more than 17 million views, according to TheSalt Lake Tribune. The video shows roped climbers leaping off the top of an arch and then swinging back […]

IDAHO Some state legislators like to rail against government intruding into people’s lives — unless, of course, those same legislators want to do the intruding themselves. Idaho Republican State Sen. John Goedde recently introduced a bill requiring all high school students to read “and comprehend” Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, a doorstop of a novel about […]

WASHINGTON “Seattle’s nice,” says photographer Regina Johnson, “but it isn’t Paradise.” Courtesy Regina Johnson. UTAH AND WYOMING Could Second Amendment defenders have gone too far, even in this gun-loving region? If two calmly reasoned editorials in Utah and Wyoming’s major daily newspapers are right, you’d have to say, yep, looks like it. Editorializing last month, […]

Utah “Remember,” says photographer Greg Woodall, “when enviros and liberals were the ones who were ‘anti-this and anti-that’?” Courtesy Greg Woodall. UTAH What’s in a name? If the name is Dixie State College, based in St. George, Utah, it’s nothing to sneeze at. Recently, as the college began moving closer to becoming a university, locals […]

CALIFORNIA There’s no doubt about it, says Connie Jenkins: A deer suddenly assaulted her small Honda while she was driving along a winding canyon to her home high above Malibu. Yet the suggestion in a letter from an expeditor for Farmers Insurance that she seek damages from the “third party” — which in this case […]

COLORADO: Hey, nice rack! Courtesy Dennis Slifer NORTH DAKOTA A woman named Donna recently called Fargo, N.D., radio station Y94 to air a problem so bizarre, the station’s hosts were almost speechless. Her complaint? Deer-crossing signs placed along busy highways were “irresponsible” because they simply encouraged the animals to cross there, and that was why […]

ALASKA – Denny Akeya, a native of the St. Lawrence Island village of Savoonga, wears his opinion on his chest. Courtesy Loren Holmes, Alaska Dispatch THE WEST Marketers can sell anything, it seems, even metaphors. You can now buy an air freshener that mimics not the true scent of a national park, which might be a noxious […]